*parents come into my room*
"We need to talk to you… We think you're an owl."
*turns neck all the way around to face them*
"Who- I MEAN WHY"
— elaine (@IRLPepperMD) March 13, 2014
birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it. let's do it, let's poop mid-air.
— Megan Neuringer (@MeganNeuringer) May 16, 2013
some cats are like "i hate this dumb name you gave me." but i like the ones that are clearly saying "FOOLS! COWER BEFORE THE IRE OF WAFFLES"
— tara shoe (@tarashoe) November 16, 2014
Do storks carry anything else or are they just like obsessed with babies
— audrey farnsworth (@audipenny) February 17, 2015
I like that the Reading Rainbow theme song starts off by aggressively one-upping butterflies
— Allegra Hallowingo (@allegraringo) June 9, 2014
"Um wow okay"
-all of Santa's other reindeer
— hannah (@TribalSpaceCat) December 14, 2014
*sees a dog* *slowly turns head wide-eyed to life's 4th wall* A DOG
— Meredith Gran (@granulac) December 3, 2012