It just occurred to me that the majority of my diet is made up of the foods that my kid didn't finish…
— Carrie Underwood (@carrieunderwood) April 30, 2016
Me: "G'night honey. Wanna sing Twinkle Twinkle?"
2 yr old: "how 'bout Beastie Boys?"
All is not lost.
— olivia wilde (@oliviawilde) November 14, 2016
Tip: It's important parents take little "time outs" for themselves too. Even if you feel pretty guilty when you return 14 years later.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) May 3, 2016
Turns out toddlers don't consider rainy days to be sloth days reserved for Netflix and sweatpants. Their loss.
— olivia wilde (@oliviawilde) June 5, 2016
My kid changed the Lego Movie song from "Everything is awesome when you're part of a team" to "Everything is awesome when you're not dying"
— Joel McHale (@joelmchale) March 14, 2014
No matter which kids book I read to my screaming baby on an airplane, the moral of the story is always something about a vasectomy.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) August 7, 2016
My kids asked me what the Wall Street protestors were angry about, & I told them it was the crappy Father’s Day gift they gave me last year.
— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) October 13, 2011
Train museum! For the 223rd time! pic.twitter.com/ywSZIRuFQs
— Anna Faris (@AnnaKFaris) April 4, 2016